April 1, 2013…
That was the last time I took two consecutive weeks off from work. I’ve taken a week periodically throughout the calendar year, weekends here and there, and some “workations.” On one rare occasion I took 10 consecutive days…but I virtually never take two consecutive weeks. In most getaways, regardless of length, I spend the majority of time catching up on work – writing, preparing sermons, reading for upcoming sermons, researching, making phone calls to ministry partners, sometimes setting up meetings, etc.
Don’t get me wrong…I love what God has called me to do! The reason I don’t take time off, even when I’m taking time off, is because I love what God has gifted me to do and people. It also has nothing to do with my wonderful church, Cornerstone Baptist Church. I have plenty of vacation time in my job description and they are such a gracious people! They are always encouraging me to get away with my family, enjoy the early years of my children, and celebrate birthdays and anniversaries.
I don’t take off…because I’m just not geared that way. When I’m “off,” I work because I’m one of those people who can’t sit around and do nothing. It’s hard to decompress. I find myself checking my phone way too much, calling the office and checking in, and planning what I will do when I get back.
Psalm 3:5, “I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.”
Psalm 37:7, “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.”
These two verses have been my singular study for the last two weeks. Ever sat and pondered two sentences for two weeks?
I wouldn’t have taken the last two weeks off if I had any choice about it…the fusion surgery was nothing compared to what many have endured over the years. But what it did do was force me to sit still…I can’t pick up anything more than five pounds for six months, I can’t turn my head in either direction, I lost my voice for about 12 days from a bruised wind pipe, and the pain medicine messes with your head.
My wonderful bride, in all of her brilliance, knew that this would be a difficult season and that I would not sit still. So she stepped in…she booked us a cruise and talked me into leaving a couple days early, as soon as I was physically able to ride in a car. The beauty of it all – I had no cell phone service for 10 days. I was in the middle of the sea with nothing to do but hang out with my family. She wouldn’t let me take my lab top, so I couldn’t work on sermons. SHE MADE ME SIT STILL.
It was TERRIBLE…
Except, I saw some things I’d been missing. I saw the maturity of an eight-year-old boy, as he daily looks, talks, and acts more like a man. I saw the innocence of a toddler and her longing for dad to simply hold her hand. I saw the spontaneity and imagination of a five-year-old girl who wonders at the world she inhabits. I saw the graceful beauty of a bride and mother, who constantly sacrifices for her family.
I saw the SUSTENANCE of the Lord.
Think on these simple words – “I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.” Is there anything much better than a good night’s rest? Is there anything better than not checking the bank account or worrying about getting to all the appointments.
At 8:00 p.m. it’s time to put the kids to bed (it generally takes another 30 minutes or more to actually get them in bed…). When they get up in the morning, mom has breakfast ready. She is up an hour before them, making her coffee, pouring their cereal, frying their eggs and sausage. They lay down and go to sleep. They wake up and mom provides their sustenance for the day. Lunch is packed. School bag is by the door. Clothes are laid out.
It’s a simple life…I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.”
That little word – “for” – is important. I’m able to lay down and sleep, I’m able to awake because or for the LORD sustains me. “LORD” refers to the magnificent holy name of God. It speaks of His majestic, eternal, and inexhaustible power.
I lay down and sleep, I awake because the Maker of heaven and earth, the inexhaustible, all powerful God sustains me.
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him” – it’s pretty difficult to be “still,” to wait “patiently.”
When we go out to a restaurant and find out there is a line to wait in…I’m one of the most impatient people you’ve met. Patience is not my strength.
What’s worse – God is invisible. He is knowable through His Word and the indwelling Holy Spirit through faith in Jesus Christ. But at least in a line, I can “see” the end of the wait. With God…I’m taking it all by faith.
It’s in my nature to jump in and “make things happen.” It’s in my nature to “run ahead of the Lord.” It’s in my nature to look count minutes and worry about staying ahead of things.
It’s not in my nature to “be still” or to “wait patiently.”
I got hung up on the word “BE.” It speaks of existence. To “live in” or to exist within a framework. I’m called to “exist” still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him. I’m called to exist in a particular state, framework, or mindset – stillness before God.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the wisdom writer was caught in wonder before God. Like standing before one of the Wonders of the World or at the base of a mountain. One becomes awe stricken in the presence of something/someone greater. When you are in the presence of Christ, where else is there to be? (“Where would we go? You have the words of eternal life.” John 6:68)
I think the two verses should be taken together…complimenting each other…shedding truth upon each other…
I’m still because I have nowhere else to be…I lay down in peace and awake because I’m not in control…I’m patient because there’s nowhere else to be…
Christ is everything I need, the wonder of my soul, the awe of my imagination, and the beauty in every experience.
Last thought – none of the above things I mentioned required a cruise to see. They are there every morning, afternoon and evening.
On our cruise, we brought the average age of cruisers down to about 85. Lol. But that just meant more pool time for the kids!
At every meal, couples walked up and said some version of, “what a beautiful family the Lord has given you. Cherish them.” Every night, someone commented on one of Kellie’s dresses. One lady came up and said, “I love how you dress your kids alike…you’re my spirit mom!” (I’m not really sure what she meant, but I think it was a compliment…)
All of them a gift from the Lord. He’s so gracious to this undeserving man.
But for 351 days out of the year…I missed them.
And when I’m not careful…I miss Him.